Lissie

Really feeling her right now. Check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i7jNwv_3oc&feature=channel

shouldn't-I-be-past-my-quarter-life-crisis?

I have never been one to have regrets in life, and I have LIVED. I don't know what is going on with my lately, but all I can think about it what I should've done, and what I didn't do. I am almost 28, and what do I really have to show for it? I have a beautiful daughter, that I wouldnt trade for anything in this world. I grew up in a single home though, and always knew I would give my kids more. But, at the end of the day- I can't. It breaks my heart daily that I can't give my daughter the things she wants and deserves. I know it's beyond the material things, and I know without a doubt I provide a loving and stable home for her, which is way more than I had. But, at the end of the day- I have a huge sense of guilt that she doesnt even have the family she deserves.

I have always sensed that I was meant for something greater. Maybe it's my adventurous spirit, maybe it's the ambition.  It scares me that I am nearing 30, and I am nowhere in life that I want to be. I know I am in control of my own destiny, but I am finally taking a long look at my life right now and I don't feel so comfortable where I am.

Wishing I had some family to lean on right now....

Weekend wrap up

I planned to go to Houston this past weekend for a friends baby shower. I was going to leave after work on Friday, but got a wrench in my plans when I found out I had to go to court to be a witness in a grand jury case. More to come of that later after it is all settled. I left Wednesday after work, and after court got to have a little fun.

We got to stay with Julie, and we were able to spend a lot of quality time together. We took the kids to the pool one day and ate yummy enchiladas at home. That evening after the kids went to sleep, Julie and I ran around and did some late night shopping. It was a lot of fun. I miss having that with my best. :( On Friday, we all drove to Surfside and enjoyed a wonderful afternoon at the beach. Taryn has only been to the beach once before, when she was 6 months old- and that was just to stick her toes in the water. Taryn was scared at first, but quickly got over it. I am so happy that I was able to let Taryn enjoy something I cherish from my childhood. I told Julie, I bet my Meme was smiling down from Heaven. Taryn picked lots of seashells to bring home. Friday evening, we went and stayed with Hot Bangs and just got to hang out. I was pretty lame, as I was talking to my new boyfriend a lot! Honeymoon phase for sure.

The baby shower got cancelled due to the mom-to-be having to go to the hospital for contractions, so we decided to head back to Austin a day early. I was uber tired, but had plans to hang out with the boy after he got off work at midnight. When I put Taryn to bed, I decided to take a nap until D got off work. We ended up staying up until 3:30. I love his company, even when we do nothing. It is so enjoyable to spend time with him.

Today was spent scouring the web for money saving ideas. Thanks, Julie! I am turning over a new leaf and going to be more conscience of my spending.

Hope you all have a fabulous week ahead!

design ideas

In 2003, I got a hand-painted pitcher in Sarasota, Florida when I went there for Spring Break with my best friend. I have toted that thing around with me through all my moves over the years. I have always wanted to base my kitchen around it. It is cobalt blue, and sunflower yellow. I have gradually been adding items, but I have a huge kitchen and dining area in my new apartment, and I really want to do more.

I want to add a sideboard like this in my dining area:

And, paint it cobalt blue

Then add Spanish inspired hardware like this to it

I've been searching Craigslist for one that I can do on the cheap as a DIY, so I will keep you posted with my progress.

the good life

Ahhhhh... I could get used to this. I am blogging on my new laptop at my kitchen table, while enjoying a cup of coffee. Taryn is in the living room watching cartoons, and we are waiting for my friends daughter, Audrey to get here. I am off for the day, and Im gonna watch the 2 girls. Taryn's school is closed for Spring Break, and my friend has been helping me watching her this week, but she has to go to work herself today. The weather is going to be great today, I think we will spend some time outside and play with some new sidewalk chalk I bought for Taryn.  

Later this afternoon, my stepdad and sister are coming in town. They are heading to San Antonio tomorrow to go to Fiesta Texas, but they are making a pit stop to come visit us for the night. I am so excited! Gonna post some recent pictures soon!

Hope everyone has a fabulous Thursday!

Dating again

I recently decided I am going to join Eharmony again! I signed up last week, and I have been casually chatting with several guys via Eharmony's email, but one stands out. We have exchanged personal emails, and talked on the phone for the first time last night. He is so refreshingly different from any other guy I have ever talked to. He puts his thoughts into words so well. Today he asked me on a date, so I think we are going out sometime next week. I'm looking forward to it! :)

Quitting cold turkey

So, I have decided that I need to quit my Starbucks habit! I need to save some money ASAP. I recently bought an espresso machine, and was warned by a friend that I would still rely on Starbucks for my caffiene fix because it would take 15 minutes to make a drink! Boy, was she right! I think something is wrong with the machine too, becuase it leaks water and spits out a ton of steam. I am goign to return it and get something better.

My sister made me a deal I couldn't pass up recently. She traded me her Keurig coffee maker for my old Chucks! Sweet! I haven't had Starbucks for 2 days. $10 extra in my pocket! Anyone else try out a Keurig? They are amazing.

Houston roadtrip

I went to Houston this weekend to visit family and friends. I swear my sister is growing up so fast; it's hard to believe she is 14! Saturday, Elizabeth and Taryn came shopping with me. We went to World Market- MAN, I love that place! I am working on making a bar area at home and decided I am doing my living room in turquoise and sunflower yellow. I will post some pictures of my finds later.

Saturday night, I went to the cookoff with Cassy, Zac, and some other friends. In all my years of living in Houston, it was my first time to go. I decided to wear never-worn-before 4" heels. My thinking was that I wear high heels everyday, so I would be fine. Boy, was I wrong! By the end of the night I had huge blisters on the balls on each of my feet! That made walking and driving very difficult after that. Besides that, the cookoff was a blast! Great (and free) food and drinks! We after partied until late, and called it a night after 3 am. I went to lunch with my family at Mamacita's and visited for awhile on Sunday before heading back to Austin.

Me and my sister

My precious, TG

Cass and Me at the cookoff

I HAD to take a picture of this guy!

Everyone at the cookoff

Weekend update

Work has been quite busy this week, and I haven't had a chance to post since last week. This weekend was nice and relaxing. I had a migraine, which was no fun but I spent some quality time with Taryn. She loved her little gifts I got her Valentine's Day, and we enjoyed playing with them together.

My Valentine

I also finished my vision board! I have collected the items for it over 2 years now. I think it turned out great. I put it in my desk area, so I cant wait to get my laptop running again. Here it is- tell me what you think about it!

I hung out with a new friend, and he made homemade sangria and limoncello! Yum! We watched several movies together over the weekend- Couples Retreat, 500 Days of Summer, and Away We Go. All were good, but I really enjoyed 500 Days of Summer and Away We Go. Check them out if you haven't yet.

secret admirer

So, I returned from lunch today and I have a package from ProFlowers waiting for me next to my desk. I opened them and looked immediately for the card to see who they are from.

The card was blank.

I decided to call ProFlowers and see if they could give me any information. After 5 minutes of her searching in the computer; my order was submitted anonymously  and she couldn't give me any information.

Well, well, well... this is kinda exciting! :)

Not in bloom yet

Inspiration

"They say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."

Andy Warhol

Just a little inspiration for the day.

J.

So, I never thought I would be in a position that I am in now. I have major feelings for a friend that won't go away. I met J. over the summer not too long after my awful breakup with Clint and we hit it off immediately. Our birthday's are 1 day apart (but he is 5 years older) and we are a lot alike. We initially tried dating, but early on he got freaked out about me having Taryn and all the responsibility that goes with it. He didn't think he was ready, and told me he wanted us to be friends. I thought that was an ass move on his part at first, and kinda blew him off. He really made an effort to be a good friend after that and we really got to know each other. In the beginning, I told myself that there were deal breakers with him- like the fact that he smokes. Now that I know his heart; nothing else matters. He is a wonderful person.

I would now consider J. one of my closest friends. The flirtation between us is crazy, and I don't know if I've ever met anyone I would consider myself more compatible with. Over winter before I left Houston, we hung out all the time. One night he told me that he loves me (as in, he cares for me) and he wants me to be in his life forever. He said that may be as friends, or it may be as more. Time would tell. He gave up his NYE to come help me pack for Austin, and we spent all night talking. I knew the decision to move to Austin was the best for me and Taryn, but I hadn't really considered how it would affect our friendship.

Now that I am settled here- I think about him all the time. Recently, I decided to tell him my feelings. All of them. He told me that he is emotionally unavailable right now, and doesn't think he is ready to take on the responsibility of dating someone with a child. His last relationship did not end well, and he told me it took forever to move past it. So, I don't think he is ever going to change his mind on this. He is a free spirit and likes to go wherever he pleases without anything to hold him back. I refuse to lose him as a friend, but it is emotionally traumatizing. Even though all of this has been difficult to accept with him, I really respect his honesty. What to do?

Lazy weekend fun

With the cold and nasty weather we have, Taryn and I decided to hibernate in the house all weekend. It was a very nice, relaxing weekend. Friday night, I bought season 5 of Entourage on DVD, and watched it almost all of it. I LOVE that show. Saturday was a very lazy day. I made a late breakfast of Nutella crossiants. Saw it on another blog, but they made homemade dough. I bought refrigerated dough and put a dollop of Nutella in it before baking. Delicious. Currently looking for more Nutella receipes. :)

Taryn chowing down!

On Sunday, Taryn and I did crafts together for the first time. She is a great little helper. We made homemade Valentine's, and they turned out really cute! 

On a different note, Taryn is now in the "why?" stage! LOL! Started in full force this weekend, and I think it's really cute, but I'm sure it will drive me batty soon! She also tells me, "I want something" when I ask her what it is that she wants, all she says is, "something" So funny! 

Have a wonderful Monday!

Personality- what's your type?

I have, and will probably always be a freak about this stuff. I LOVE personality typing. I always make friends and co-workers take this one, and it is scarily accurate. I wish that you could have someone take this in the beginning stages of dating. Sure would give you some insight. And, in my dating experience, I could surely use some!

http://www.davenevins.com/personalities/main/findyourtype.htm

Go take it! What are you, and do you think it's accurate?

I am an ENFP. Mine has changed over the years, but mine is pretty much right on. Here are some points I think are very accurate:

Good communication skills

Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Driven to meet other's needs

Usually loyal and dedicated
Extreme dislike of conflict

Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently

May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

Things I am looking forward to

Working out tonight with a co-worker. I need to get my butt back in shape!


A lazy, rainy weekend at home with Taryn. I want to get some art supplies, and make some homemade Valentine's with her. Thanks for the idea Jules.


Getting crafty, and finishing decorating my new apartment.


A visit from the Venske's! It got postponed from this weekend due to baby Venske being sick, and bad weather. We are now looking a Valentine's Day weekend. The Weekend of Love with great friends. Sounds perfect.


Starting therapy again for the first time in years. I am trying to make all areas in my life as healthy as possible.


Making my vision board. I have been collecting items for it for over a year now, and have never put it all together.


A visit from my family. I miss my little sister a lot. They are planning on coming in early February.

Halloween idea

So, I know it's only January, but I have decided I am pretty sure I want to be Bon Qui Qui for Halloween this year! I considered dressing up as her last year, but I procrastinated and it's not a costume you can do last minute. I will have to stay in character though, which will be a lot of fun.

Don't know who Bon Qui Qui is? Check her out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

Thoughts?

twenty-seven

So, I recently celebrated my 27th birthday. Upper-twenties man... sure making me feel old. This birthday was a weird one. Maybe my expectations were too high. I had some friends come in from Houston. Dinner and drinks were the agenda...

Here are a few pictures

Me and Cassy still at the house

Dessert

Drinks at Chuy's for lunch

My birthday got over-taken, and didn't go exactly the way it was planned. All put into perspective though, I have realized some pretty important things. Learning a lot about myself and what I will and will not stand for.

Chapter One (again)

Officially back in Austin for 3 weeks now, and things are good. I am at a completely different stage in my life that I was when I last lived here. I am no longer a party girl in my early 20's. I am a single working mom who is trying to figure it all out.

A promotion brought me here, and it is surreal to be back in my favorite city and at the old property I used to work at, now as the property manager. I love my job, and staff. I usually deal with change so well, but all at once is a little overwhelming right now.

I have recently re-connected with an old friend and I'm happy to have her back in my life again. Also trying to re-define another friendship right now, or figure out if its time for it to fade away. Missing the great social network I had in Houston a lot. I have some fantastic friends there. Since being back here in Austin, I really desire to make some new friendships and connect with other mothers. It's difficult making friends as an adult although I am very outgoing!

Here's to my next new adventure!